Freezer Bernie

Silver Hills Cozy Mysteries Book 3

Come to Silver Hills. Where the term "flash frozen" takes on a whole new meaning.

When a dead guy turns up in the freezer of Flo and Agnes’s favorite Italian restaurant, the ladies quickly discover the corpse had connections to one of their friends. Celia Angonetti’s husband owns Gioppino's Italian Restaurant, as well as the gun lying next the frozen body with bullet holes in his chest. What he doesn’t own, according to Celia, is responsibility for the kill. Against their better judgement, the ladies get pulled into the mystery of how the dead guy got dead in the freezer…why he’d been killed with Massimo Angonetti’s gun…and how Celia came to the unlikely conclusion that her thug of a hubby was innocent of the crime. Some might think it was an impossible task.

Some probably haven’t met Flo and Agnes.

More from this series

Praise for Freezer Bernie

Charity Chimni Reviews

Flo and Agnes are at it again. When Celia's husband is implicated in a murder, she enlists the services of Flo and Agnes to solve the crime. A story filled with twists, humor, friendship, and smoky medicine. A can't wait for the next installment from silver hills!

Barbara Barber Reviews

Oh My Gosh! Another laugh out loud, murder mystery by Ms. Cheever. Yes, I did say laugh and murder in the same sentence. WHY, because the little ole ladies at Silver Hills are at it again. They are in over their little grey heads yet determined to solve the latest mystery, or in this case, who killed the guy in the freeze of their friend Celia’s restaurant and with said Celia’s husband’s gun? Of course they should leave the snooping to the police but that just isn’t Flo and Agnes’s style, especially when Celia’s husband isn’t a model citizen and all the evidence points to him. The little ole ladies methods are not exactly orthodox and will have you laughing and trying to solve the case right along with them. These ladies are a hoot and a half on the job like no others when it comes to solving a mystery or helping a friend. Oh and did I mention Agnes and Flo just “might” end up in a scrape or two of their own?

Lexy Sky Reviews

Absolutely hilarious! I laughed nearly the whole book through - when I weren't biting my nails and fear for the girls who are no longer spring chicken but definitely sly winter foxes.

Read an Excerpt

“Is that Massimo Angonetti?” Agnes asked. 

Flo gasped, tugging Agnes behind a large rose bush at the front of the residence. “Don’t let him see you. People who set eyes on him tend to disappear.”

Agnes stuffed the last bite of a cookie into her face and frowned thoughtfully. “Bmff Thelia’s tshere tzoo.” The last word shot out of her mouth on the back of a large, mushy cookie crumb which landed on Flo’s new cardigan sweater. She squealed, leaping from behind the bush and tripping over a garden hose, dancing backward with arms flailing. Flo just barely managed to catch herself on the massive plant suspended from the portico and hung there, her eyes round. “Get it off me!” 

Agnes rolled her eyes. “It’s just a piece of cookie. I didn’t know you were such a sissy girl.”

Flo took another look at the strangely shaped brown object. “It’s all spitty. Flick it off me now, Agnes or I swear I’ll…”

Agnes reached out and grabbed the bite of cookie, sticking it back into her mouth. 

Flo grimaced. “That’s disgusting. Your mouth should be regulated by the EPA.” Slapping at the front of her baby blue cardigan, Flo glared at her friend. “It left a brown stain.”

Agnes shrugged. “Your sweater’s fine. You can barely see the spot.”

Shaking her head, Flo let go of the hanging plant. “I’m going in to change. I can’t go to Gioppinos with chocolate spit on my sweater.”

“Hello, ladies.”

Flo jumped with a squeal and looked over at Celia Angonetti. Their pretty, soft spoken friend flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry to startle you.”

Agnes made a “pshaw” noise. “It’s not your fault. She’s jumpy as my cat today.”

Celia’s eyes went round. “Is something wrong, Florence?”

“Not at all.” Florence refused to meet Agnes’s gaze. She busied herself rubbing the spot on her right boob. 
Agnes chuckled. “We heard a rumor that Roger Attles is going to ask her out on a date.”

Flo made a sound of exasperation. “That’s nonsense. Roger would never…”

Celia clapped her hands. “Of course he would, honey.” She reached out and touched Flo’s arm. “Everybody knows he’s crazy about you.”

“Or just plain crazy,” Agnes snickered. 

“We’re friends. That’s all.” Flo threw her arm up in the air, trying for nonchalance. Her fingers hit the plant and set it swaying. She tried to catch it but was nearly decapitated. The thing was eighteen inches across and weighed upwards of thirty pounds. 

“Here, let me,” Agnes said. “You’re a hot mess today.” She jammed her hand into the top of the planter and it stopped. When she pulled her hand out something green with narrow, spiky leaves was stuck in the band of her watch. 

Celia’s eyes went wide. “Is that…marijuana?”

Agnes tugged it free. “Monty’s stash. She doesn’t think we know about it. She starts them in all the hanging plants and when they’re big enough she slithers out here and harvests them.”

Celia looked intrigued. “What does she do with them?”

“We have no idea,” Flo offered, eyeing her friend. “She probably spikes the Saturday night brownies just to watch the oldies succumb to full-on craziness.”

Agnes shook her head. “That would be a horrible waste of good brownies. Besides, I usually have several of those brownies and I never noticed anything.”

“That’s because you’re already crazy. Now put that plant back in the planter. We need to get going. We promised TC we’d meet her at six. It’s already five forty-five.”

“We have plenty of time. Gioppinos is only five minutes away.”

Flo didn’t like what she was seeing on her friend’s face. She frowned. “Stop thinking. It terrifies me.”
Agnes had a light in her eye that made Flo’s blood pressure spike. “Oh no.”

Agnes nodded, her lips spreading in a grin. “Oh yes.” She reached up and tugged on another plant, pulling it out of the planter in a spray of dirt. “They’re just seedlings,” Agnes said. “How potent could they be?”

“I don’t care,” Flo said in her sternest voice. “The idea of you with the munchies is horrifying.”