Reviews are wonderful creatures. Sometimes informative, often entertaining, and an invaluable tool for those of us who are adrift in a vast sea of possible reading choices. I deeply appreciate anybody who takes the time to review my work. But having said that, I can’t help observing some consistent themes within reviews. So I did some digging and discovered that there are classifications of reviewers. Oh yes, there are. #:0) See if you know someone who falls into any of the following reviewer classifications:
The poor investigator – This reviewer buys a book outside her interest area and then gives the book 1 star for being what it is. Sample review: “I don’t usually read paranormal but I bought this because it sounded interesting. I DNF because it had weird, magical creatures in it. 1 star!”
The Confused Reviewer: This reviewer gives the book 2 or 3 stars, generally understood to mean that a book isn’t good or is just meh, and then gives a glowing review. Huh?
The Lengthinator: This reviewer often starts (and sometimes ends) her review with the words, This book was too short. Damn! I hate it when the bookstore hacks portions of my books off after I buy them! #:0)
The Retribution reviewer: Sample review: “I HATED this book because the author’s a jerk.” #:0) 1 star for you!
The Trigger Finger reviewer: “The author mentioned spaghetti with red sauce on page 109. I hate spaghetti with red sauce. 1 star!” And lest you think I’m reaching with this one, I know an author this happened to. LOL
The Porn Star-er: The entire worth of any book this reviewer reads is judged by how much HOT sex it holds within its pages. It doesn’t matter if the book isn’t erotica and has a great plot and wonderful characters, this reviewer thinks it isn’t worth a fig unless somebody’s doing the humpty dumpty with somebody else every 3 pages or so.
The Savvy reviewer: This reviewer knows what she likes and buys only that. Or if she branches out, she takes that into consideration when she reviews the book. She checks the length of the book and the corresponding price before buying it. She judges the book on its merits. Authors LOVE this reviewer!